Tag Archives: family

Quick visit

After Webster University Commencement, I flew (literally) across the state to see my family, gathered in one place for the first time since my father’s funeral seventeen months ago.

All three of Richard & Marie’s children were there, along with the five grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren.  The occasion was a celebration of Luke’s 18 years, and his graduation from high school.


Easter IV was celebrated at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church (AKA Smokey Mary’s), where I sat by and sang with Leona Schaefer, with my long-time acquaintance Geoffrey Wilcken at the organ, and my colleague Tony Maglione leading the choir.  The liturgy was perfect!

With John and Leona Schaefer at coffee hour.


Writing, on the way home, with sunlight dappling the page through my south-facing window.

 

#TBT: Commencement 1983

May 1983.

I graduated from Southwest Baptist University with the Bachelor of Arts in Religious Studies.  Add to that minors in Music, Philosophy, and Business.

Photos from the day:

Mizzou, and my parents

I spent a few hours at Mizzou this weekend. State solo/ensemble festival is held in various buildings on the campus.

And I visited my great-nephew and niece. My sister Karen had driven in for the day, and we chatted about gardening while enjoying the sight and sound of a baby boy who represents the next generation.

And I found myself thinking about my father.

Pop used to tell me stories about time spent in this Union building at Mizzou. He and Mom met at the Baptist Student Union just a few blocks away from Memorial Union.

When I was a child, my parents had tickets to home football games at Mizzou. They’d bundle us kids up and leave us with Aunt Esther and Uncle John (I saw them more than my grandparents, thus cementing that life-long bond between me and Aunt Esther). In 1969, we were driving in from Hannibal. In 1971, from Lee’s Summit.

I realize now, of course, that those season tickets to football games represented my parents’ wish to stay in touch with their college friends. If I remember correctly, that would likely be Bob & Shirley, Bill and Ruth Ann.

At some point, the connection to Mizzou faded in its intensity. Family, career, location — all have a way of altering the DNA of our inner lives.

For years now, whenever I am at Mizzou for an event, I have this sense that this is the place that allowed me to be. I would not be here were it not for the Baptist Student Union, and Calvary Baptist Church, and the University of Missouri where my parents ended up at the same time, in the same room.

And as much as I bleed crimson and blue and fly my Jayhawk flag proudly, I’m grateful for Mizzou.


I was also thinking yesterday about shadows and memories.

Any drive around Columbia, Missouri is filled with them. I spent summer weeks with Aunt Esther in the tidy little house on Clinton. I went to West Boulevard Elementary School for one year. The first house my parents ever owned was on Clayton Street in Columbia. My youngest sister was born there.

But I also found myself thinking about my father’s last days sixteen months ago, about his decision to cease treatment for leukemia . . . his concern for his wife and my sisters and the effect of this decision on them . . . his stubborn refusal to let go in his last minutes of speech and lucid thought as he said “I’m not ready.” . . . his lack of tying-up-loose-ends preparation for the end . . . his incredible loyalty to my step-mother who had saved him over and over in those years after my own mother died, and who he was now saving from her own increasing frailty.

There’s no moral here. No great revelation. Just shadows of thoughts. And perhaps some self-awareness too. We shall see.

The cupola of Jesse Hall, Mizzou, on Saturday.

Wrong

Sometimes I am wrong.

Wrong in my knee-jerk response.  Wrong in my facts.  Wrong in my presentation.

So today I got to say “I’m sorry.”

And I’m glad I said it.  And I’m glad for the reminder that I’m not always perfect.


Meanwhile, my sisters and I each confessed Monday evening . . . that we are turning into our parents.

And that’s so wrong it’s right.


From campus Monday evening:

“I change people’s lives”

27 July 1996.  An email to my parents, who were living abroad in Argentina.

Summer session at the community college has just ended.  The 1996 Atlanta Olympics were under way. 

Doctoral study was less than a month away.  And I was coming to terms with the enormous responsibility one assumes as a teacher.

My father had printed this email, which we found in his boxes of papers.  I’m glad to have it.

Reminiscences: moving to Kansas

Found in my father’s belongings: this postcard, addressed to my grandmother, giving my new address in Kansas when I moved there on January 2, 1997.

The “choking back tears” reference proved false. My three years at KU, and most of that also living in Lawrence, were the single best three years of my life to date.

Reminiscences: the bill

In my father’s belongings were two documents related to my birth in 1961.

I was born at Southern Baptist Hospital in New Orleans. The total hospital bill was $113.45, which included four nights in a semi-private room (for my mother, of course) and $30 for the delivery room charge.

Care to know how crazy our health-care costs are now? That $113.45 in 1961 is still less than $1000 in today’s dollars!