Dear Lord

Dear Lord,

You beautifully created means of locomotion and safe passage from one point to another.

Why do you allow blockheads to drive these contraptions?

Am I asking too much to request that you strike with bolts of lightning those who:

  • in the middle lane of the freeway, drive 10 clicks slower than the speed limit;
  • fail to signal a turn;
  • drive large vehicles and think they own the road; and/or
  • don’t know how to merge into traffic?

Am I being mean-spirited?

If not, then perhaps one other query?

Might you please flatten the tires of every jerk who, when seeing a car starting to back out of a garage, or a parking space, and instead of stopping, decides to barrel past the car and almost get hit?  (Dear Lord, I can’t tell you how many times a month I have to slam on brakes, even at a modest 5 m.p.h., because someone can’t give the 10 seconds for me to back out of a space.)

Thanks in advance for your many mercies to me, and your punishment to the trangressors.

Amen.

P.S. — might you regulate my body temperature so that I don’t feel like I’m turning into an old man who is cold one minute, then warm the next?

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