Daily Archives: September 10, 2009

Comparisons

COMPARISON OF RELIGIOUS THEORY
IN THE LATE 20TH CENTURY

Capitalism – He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna – He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Catholicism – He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Anglican – They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox – No, they were OURS first.

Branch Davidians – He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Atheism – There is no toy maker.

Polytheism – There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism – The toys made themselves.

Church of Christ, Scientist – We are the toys.

Communism – Everyone gets the same number of toys,
and you go straight  to hell if we catch you selling yours.

B’Hai – All toys are just fine with us.

Amish – Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism – The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism – Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo – Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Hedonism – To heck with the rule book!? Let’s play!

Hinduism – He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

7th Day Adventist – He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Church of Christ – He whose toys make music, loses.

Baptist – Once played, always played.

Jehovah’s Witnesses – He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Pentecostalism – He whose toys can talk, wins.

Existentialism – Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism – Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism – We don’t care where the toys came from,
let’s just play with them.

Agnosticism – It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of  difference.